Transformation! It’s a Process.

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

Wayne Dyer


If you look up the word Transformation online, you will find one of the following definitions:

“A thorough or dramatic change in form or appearance.”

“A metamorphosis during the life cycle of an animal.”

“The induced or spontaneous change of one element into another by a nuclear process.”

Personally, I resonate with the third definition. How many times have you heard someone use the term Transformation? “I Transformed my life.” “I Transformed my body.” “I Transformed my job.”  You see stories in the media of rags to riches. People who have overcome the odds of horrific childhood circumstances, health crisis, or a major injury. What happens next? You feel inspired, you feel motivated. Perhaps you want your life to have more meaning, more purpose. You want to overcome your obstacles and take on the world! You try what they did in the magazine, and what happens? It doesn’t work out the way you thought it would. Why is that? I’ll tell you right now…  Your brain does not work like theirs do. Transformation is a continuous process. It is a journey. It’s YOUR journey and no one else’s.

Transformation is not a one and done. However, your brain does have the neuroplasticity to stretch and grow to create these results. In Joe Dispenza’s book Evolve your Brain, he writes:

When we are learning anything new and taking it to a level of skill and mastery, we follow four basic steps:

  1. As we learn and become aware of what we want, we become consciously unskilled.
  2. As we begin to initiate the process of demonstration (the “doing”), if we keep applying what we learn, we eventually become consciously skilled. In other words, we can perform an action with a certain amount of conscious effort.
  3. If we go further, continuously putting our conscious awareness on what we are demonstrating, and we are successful in performing the action repeatedly, we become unconsciously skilled. When we begin the process of change, this is where we want to end. [1]


Often times we know what to do, but how do we set ourselves up to create successful results for ourselves? First thing is first, start focusing on yourself and stop comparing yourself to others.

Before making a new commitment, here are some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What are the steps I need to take to get there? My journey is different then theirs.
  2. What does my relationships with myself and others look like? Am I making time for myself? Am I kind and compassionate to myself and others? Or am I critical and find fault in others easily?
  3. Who do I spend most of my time with? Are they supportive and open-minded people? Who are my friends at work? Do you share the same goals? Find someone who you trust and respect that can hold you accountable. When starting something new, you need as many cheerleaders as you can get! Remember the saying… “You are the company you keep?”
  4. Are you open to receiving feedback? Take inventory of your patterns and your past behaviors. What has been getting in the way of you having more in your life?
  5. Trust the process. Are you willing to do the work to get there? If you’re not, then you are already starting off on the wrong foot. The idea is to learn and grow. What you have been trying before is not working.


How I am Engaging in the Transformation Process:

By rewiring your brain, you create new, empowering thoughts about yourself. [2] You are creating new possibilities for yourself. You are building confidence, you are taking more risks, and you are engaging more in life and with others. You begin to see and want more for yourself.

Just recently, I returned to graduate school to complete my masters degree after taking two years off due to some new life changes: marriage, a new baby and relocating to a new city. When I enrolled in graduate school back in 2015, I made the commitment to dedicate myself to my transformation process. Growing up, I was not a good student. I would rather be out with friends, doing anything but studying! The story I would tell myself was that I was the funny one who was creative and played sports. My sister was the smart one in the family. Throughout the years, what I realized was that I was tired of telling people this story. I realized that this statement was not empowering me, it was only enabling me to make excuses for myself, keeping me from accomplishing more in my life. Rather than hiding behind this story and sounding like a broken record, I decided to not let fear consume me. I made the choice to dedicate and engage in the moment-to-moment process in order to transform my life. This meant that I needed to create new beliefs about myself. Rather than coming from my core belief of thinking that I did not matter, I started implementing strategies and tools to share why I do matter. I created lists, I wrote affirmations, and am still doing so. Rather than telling people that I do not know the answer, I decided to be more curious about myself and look up an answer. Back in May when I rejoined graduate school,  a big a-ha moment for me was that rather than compare myself to my classmates, I would remind myself that I am on my own journey. I decided to go back to school for myself and no one else. My historical way of being was  to psyche myself out of going for more. I would go into self-beat-up or have negative thoughts about myself. “When I get caught up in that negative noise, I forget about all of the progress I have made. I am consumed in the exterior factors rather than focusing on how nourishing this journey has been for me.


As I mentioned above, transformation is an ongoing process. Something that I have learned through this process is that I must set some attainable goals that I can achieve step by step in order to engage in my transformation process. I am making growth choices, what psychologist Abraham Maslow defines as, “a choice that requires taking a risk, stepping into your fear, going outside of your comfort zone which is the opposite of choosing safety out of fear and the need for defense.”[3]


The more that I engage in this process, the better I become at understanding my patterns and my habits. I mean, who knows me better than ME right? I know when I am hiding, when I am scared, and when I am angry. The more that I can identify what I am feeling,  the clearer my priorities become.  Rather than looking at all that I did not accomplish, or all that I still need to do, I can focus on how far I have come to get here. As I lead with my empowering beliefs, I can see how I do matter, and how I am making a difference for me. As Dr. Bob and Judith Wright describe in their book Transformed!, these empowering beliefs “are ways of being that help you transform and develop your potential… they are in line with your deeper yearnings, implement the discoveries of revelating, and make the gains of liberating your way of life.” [4] These beliefs are what drive and facilitate my emergence, and inspire me to go for more in my life.


Why Does Transformation Work for Some and Not Others?

Dr. Sayed Shah of Mandala Integrative Medicine states, “It’s up to the patients to follow proper nutrition and proper protocol after they visit with me. I can give them the tools, but it is up to the patient to follow through …They have to be willing to do the work.” It’s very simple. There are some patients who want a quick fix. We are not that clinic for them. We want to create long-lasting results, and with this comes commitment. It takes dedication and commitment in changing healthy habits. If you are not willing to do the work, then of course you will receive the same results. What happens when you trust the process? Are you used to people failing you? Do you lack trust in others? What will it take for you to take that leap of faith and follow a protocol?

I know for me, I have a number of coaching clients who come to me and want to create new results for themselves. It sounds fun and exciting at first, but I do make sure that by the end of our first visit they understand that this work is not going to be easy and that they may not like me sometimes, but the real work is about taking responsibility for their actions.


So, Are you Tapping into your Potential?

Here are some clues that there may be more out there for you:

  1. You are bored of your same routine.
  2. You feel irritable and unsatisfied in your life.
  3. You try something and quit before even trying.


Are you ready to do the work? Contact my office at (833) GUT WELL 488-9355 to schedule your 30-minute FREE coaching consultation today!


**Rumaisa Khawaja – Relationship and Life Coach, Mandala Integrative Medicine.

Facebook: CoachRu

Instagram @rurahman

Twitter @ruINla



[1] Joe Dispenza, Evolve Your Brain, Health Communications, Inc. Deerfield Beach, FL. Pg. 452

[2] Dr. Judith Wright Heart of The Fight, New Harbinger Publications, Inc. Oakland, CA Pg. 145

[3] Abraham Maslow, ( (accessed 9/29/17)


[4] Dr. Judith Wright and Dr. Bob Wright, Transformed! The Science of Spectacular Living, Nashville: Turner Publishing Company, 2013, Pg. 157-158.

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